What I can’t do….

I love dancing. I love to watch good dancers. I love to watch a crowd dance at a wedding. I’d even join in. But I can’t dance.

I wish I could dance. Just to be able to hold a beat. To swivel and slide on the floor. But alas, there isn’t a rhythmic bone in my body. Oh people say i look fine. But I don’t believe it. I know they are wrong. I just don’t feel right when I dance. I feel… clunky, slow, off beat.

I imagine that when good dancers are dancing, they feel it, they feel good, they feel right. Maybe I’m wrong. But that doesn’t mean I should dance.


Drugs and Death

I just read a really accurate artcile about Drugs.  The part that got me was the title –

Aaron Sorkin: Drugs not ‘overdose’ killed Philip Seymour Hoffman

I thought to my self – what is that crazy ‘shroom eater saying now.  But it wasn’t that at all.  He stated a very good point about how we say things can give the wrong impression to others.

“We should stop implying that if he’d just taken the proper amount then everything would have been fine…He didn’t die because he was partying too hard or because he was depressed – he died because he was an addict on a day of the week with a y in it.” (quoted from article linked above. Source bbc.com/news)

I‘ve noticed in reading, and my own writing, the tendency to put things into a Passive sentence structure. When I was in school I couldn’t understand what they (the teachers) meant when we were learning about these.  But now I find myself doing this daily.  We use this structure to shift blame. “The computer was broken” as compared to “John broke the computer”.  It makes us feel better to be passive, not blaming, not accusing someone, even ourselves.

We all have a responsibility to make sure we are doing the right thing. The amount of drugs he took didn’t kill him.  The act of him taking drugs did.

Local News – KMOV Rant

Do you ever find yourself talking to your T.V? I do this a lot.  I talk to commercials (“Yes, because he fell off a ladder he needs to think about life insurance, because I’m a selfish $%^& and that’s my first thought…). I talk to T.V. shows.  But especially I talk to my local news.

Sometimes its me griping at the producers for putting up the wrong graphic (“you have one job…”).

Last night in particular – KMOV the local CBS affiliate in St. Louis started its news at 4:59 PM.


I was watching something else. Noticed the credits rolling. Switched over to KMOV and … they were already well into their “breaking news”.

Mentioned this fact to my Mom who watches them almost everyday. “Oh, yea,” she says, “they do that everyday, I always miss their first story which is usually breaking news.”

So, KMOV, you, by attempting to get the jump on the other local news stations cause us to go to the other news channels to find out what “breaking news” is developing. Because you see, like normal news channels, they wait until their SCHEDULED program start, and thereby allow me to have time to get to their channel on time for their first, and presumably most important, news story.

Keep it up KMOV.  Fox2 is looking better and better.

Minimalism and Makeup

I was a wannabe minimalist for a while there (see previous posts) but I’ve succumbed to the pressure to buy.  Specifically makeup.  And lots of it.

When is enough, enough? Well after a few hundred dollars (I haven’t really counted but when I’ve qualified for Ulta’s Platinum status on the rewards card – I know I’ve spent $350 at that store alone.)

But I don’t believe in expensive makeup.  The most costly thing I own is my Revlon Color Stay Foundation.  But what I don’t spend on one product I definitively spend on 30 different products.

However I think I’ve finally hit my limit.  I was going through a shopping cart on Ulta or Sephora and I realized, “I have that color” and then on another site, “I have a color that’s very similar to that and I’ve NEVER used it!”

So once more I’m on a spending moratorium.  I’m still looking at products mind you.  I’m just not buying unless i really need it.  And if I find one of the products or samples or whatever I have just isn’t very good – I toss it.

(Favorite product right now – Wet N Wild Silent Treatment Color Icon Trio.  On my nails is Wet N Wild Mega Last nail color in Wet Cement.)

So I’m going to try and use a different product on my eyes every day.  Pull out every palette and try each color. Really get some use out of what I have rather than keep spending money!  It is what it is (my face that is) so any new product can only do so much.  Nothing out there is going to make me look like Kate Upton, no matter what it claims to be able to do.  I still need to get some skill in applying it too.  So practice I will do.

Marriage to anyone

I don’t think marriage is outdated. As a religious person I have certain beliefs. However I don’t feel that marriage should continue as it is today.

If you decide to marry someone it can cost thousands of dollars to dissolve when you want to divorce. It clogs up the justice system.

Get rid of it.

As it is I mean. Make marriage completely unrelated to any government arrangement. If you want to get married – fine. Do that. If you want to get divorced – just do it. Make it a simple process. Go to the county courthouse or to your church and just say – we’re done. Sign an paper and your through.

No joint bank accounts. If you buy something for someone, its a gift. No joint property. No pre-nups. No joint tax returns. Everyone files separately.

However I just put a large number of people out of jobs. Judges, court staff, divorce lawyers and their staff. But you know what – I don’t care.

Today I’ve decided…

I’ve decided – I have opinions and I’m going to share them.

So – Number 1 – I am going to start living by a budget.  Actually I decided this last month.  And then 6 months before that. But this month (September 2012) I actually started living it.

I don’t know if this is a universal feeling, but its mine, I have always felt that if I had to think about money and about how much an item was, that was low class. Here is an example: if I go to the repair shop and have them fix a hole in my tire – I wouldn’t ask how much that service was going to cost.  I just let them tell me at the end. Then if it was more than I thought it should be, I was angry. Not at them necessarily but at myself for not asking first. Feeling like I let them get one over on me, take advantage of me in some way.  So this month I finally asked. How much is this going to cost? Are there any other costs I should worry about?  I felt empowered by this simple question. And by getting an easy answer.  Any place I do business – restaurant, car repair, shops – any place, I shouldn’t feel embarrassed to ask. All of these places want my money, my business and in some cases want my return business. There is nothing stopping me from asking. Except by own feelings of embarressment.

So here is how my budget works out. I’ll update at the end of September with how well I did.

Gas and Car Repair – $200.00

Restaurants = $180.00

Grocery = $150.00

Extras (Clothes, books, etc) = $100.00

These are all the variable items in my life.  I’m not counting incidentals that are required. Like doctors bills, hospital bills.  Also I’m not the primary grocery buyer in my household so I don’t have to budget much for that.

I just did a check up for the month and some categories I’m waaaaay over. Some I’m at about 50%. So overall I’m pretty happy. Especially considering there were months previously that I spent nearly $1000 on Restaurants and Extras!

My big reason for doing all this is I turned 30. Suddenly I’m not a kid anymore. My health scares me. And should anything happen I don’t want to be in debt. I don’t have any big bills except by orthodontics and my credit card bill.  My ortho is something that I know when that will end. I have a pay off plan with my Dentist. So that I’m not really counting. However my credit card bill is me – all me.

This blog isn’t going to be just about finances however. I also plan on discussing my braces (including pictures), food/restaurant reviews, computer stuff I find interesting, and other miscellany.